So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
