We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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