Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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