I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Damn victory sex feels great
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
