He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You need Xanax blowdarts
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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