I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
