i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
