Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
