she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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