I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Screwed.edu
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
