take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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