The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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