its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
