i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
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