real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i jhust puked up my retainher.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
