I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
