I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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