i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
