My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
