I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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