Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
