There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
