Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
