dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
