Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
