before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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