I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
