if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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