Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
