I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
