OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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