Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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