Whod you bang
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
