Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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