I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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