He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
the raccoons are back...
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