just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
