Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So many bounce houses so little time
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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