im about as happy as oj after his trial
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
