My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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