dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
