I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
