At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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