new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
