So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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