I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
