I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
