guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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