Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
