I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
