All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
