i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
