do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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